And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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