your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
