I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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