i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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