It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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