And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
