Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
