I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
