no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
