Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
