Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Randomize
