Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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