You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
