my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
