We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
