Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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