she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
