No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
