im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
