Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You dont lie about slip and slides
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
