Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we're making bets on your personal life
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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