I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
