Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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