I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
