It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
