I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
