So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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