We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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