he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
