he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
