I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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