I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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