we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
