Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
