Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
