ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
