Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
