I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
