there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
