so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
