Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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