I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
