TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
