You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
