I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
