come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
