I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
