Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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