when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
