whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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