He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
