like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
