Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
