So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
