haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
