I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you never un-have a 4some
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
