My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
