she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
